Humorous Torture
by l a masaana
Summary: People from WoT torturing other people in WoT (not physically...normally)


Author: Sumblinkgirl4182  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Category: WoT  
  
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Disclaimer: WoT is not in my possession. It is owned by Robert Jordan and publishing companies of variances. No characters are mine, only the story line.  
  
*****Chapter 1***The Disappearance of the Hair Thingy  
  
"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!" Nynaeve's shrill voice came floating down the stairs at Baerlon and Rand sighed.  
  
"Be right back. . .hopefully," he said exasperatedly to Mat and Perrin. Rand trudged up the stairs, grunting half the time while wondering why in the hell she always called on him for help. He burst through her door. What is - "  
  
He stopped dead in the middle of his sentence. Nynaeve's hair was unbraided and fell at her shoulders in thick wavy locks.  
  
"What happened to your. . .where's your. . .er." Rand questioned dumbly.  
  
"Why don't you tell me Rand 'Al Thor! My hair thingy is missing and I have NOTHING, I repeat NOTHING to tie my hair back with." her eyes glowed like a fire and her face was as hot as a burning coal.  
  
Rand was fixing to hit her with a smart remark, when he thought twice about it and simply looked at the floor.  
  
"RAND 'AL THOR! YOU LOOK AT ME NOW!!!"  
  
Rand let his eyes barely meet hers. "I. . .I. . .don't know what happened to your. . .er. . .hair thingy."  
  
She pressed her lips tightly together. "Well, I suggest you take this piece and go buy me one."  
  
"But why can't you - "  
  
"Do you think I am willing to be seen in public without my hair braided?" Rand sighed. "I'll take that as a no. Well, then. Be off with you." She waved him away.  
  
Rand dashed out of the room, relief crossing his face as soon as he could no longer feel her aura.  
  
"Oh and Rand!!!" Nynaeve shouted suddenly. "Be sure you get red velvet!!!"  
  
Rand grunted in approval and meandered his way to the peddler outside the Stag and Lion. When he arrived, the peddler gave him no more than a glance and then turned to his other older customers.  
  
Rand cleared his throat. "Er, excuse me sir, but do you have any. . .er. . .red velvet, um, hair thingies?" Rand asked, glancing aroung nervously at the question.  
  
The peddler broke into laughter. "I shouldn't think you'd be needin' one o' those! Argh, no we have zip red velvet hair TIES." he said with a chuckle. "Thingies," he snorted. "Doggone chi'd'en these days."  
  
Rand sighed and, reluctantly, brought the news back to Nynaeve.  
  
"No hair thingies????? None at all???? Argh...give me your cap." she demanded.  
  
"My cap?"  
  
"No, that stupid brain of yours - yes your cap!"  
  
Rand's face twisted into a mixture of surprise and disgust and he handed his fine cap over to Nynaeve.  
  
Nynaeve decided against saying thank you to such an unworthy person, bundled her hair up on her head, and stuck the cap over it. Rand began to slip quietly out of the door.  
  
Nynaeve, however, with her back toward him, said,"Oh no you don't! You're coming too! Actually, do leave. Go fetch Mat and Perrin and Thom and that dreadful Moiraine along with her evil sidekick, Lan, and tell them they need to get themselves in here to help me find MY HAIR THINGY!!!"  
  
So Rand set off on his "heroic journey." He found Mat and Perrin sitting at the game table in the sitting room playing a new kind of poker they had invented - Two River Poker!!! Where all you lose is a couple of silver pieces and that little thingamabobber Moiraine gave you!  
  
"Mat, Perrin, time to go serve gracious Queen Nynaeve." Rand said, with fake cheerfullness.  
  
"Aye, let us go serve our all-giving dutchess," Mat remarked with a snicker.  
  
Thom, as usual, was found on the big stage in the dining area performing. Perrin crept on stage and whispered something to Thom.  
  
"Er, does anyone have a hair thingy?" Thom asked the audience, blushing slightly.  
  
"Nay!" cried the crowd.  
  
"Whydya think a bunch of old truckdrivers - er, gentlemen- like us would have a hair thingy for?" an obese man shouted.  
  
The gleeman stumbled off stage, muttering a few "Thank you"s and "Er, something came up"s.  
  
The group wandered around aimlessly for what seemed like hours before coming upon Lan and Moiraine.  
  
"Nyn - "  
  
"She needs help does she?" Lan sighed.  
  
"Come Lan," Moiraine beckoned.  
  
So, they set off for Nynaeve's room.  
  
When the arrived, they were greeted with kind statements such as "MAT YOU LITTLE RUNT! HOw dare you steal my hair thingy!!! Light, damn you to the darkness!" and "Why hello there, Thom! After I find this b racelt, you'll have a fine story to tell. . .of your imprisonment!"  
  
So she set everyone to work, checking bedsheets and dresser drawers - exept for one, which she forbade them from looking in. . .what could be hidden there? Could it be - back to the subject. They searched till dawn the next day and still, there was no sign of the hair thingy. Eventually, all but Lan collapsed one-by-one in a heap on the floor out of exhaustion.  
  
They awoke to a wrapping on the door. Nynaeve stumbled up to the door and opened it to find Egwene standing there. Her hair was pulled into two braids, with one blue hair thingy and one. . .red one.  
  
"MY HAIR THINGY!!!" Nyneave shouted as she dove for Egwenes head. "Egwene Al' Meara, who and what gave you the idea that you could use MY HAIR THINGY for your own uses?"  
  
"Calm down, Nynaeve! I asked you last night and you said I could borrow it. I was coming to return it."  
  
"No!" Nynaeve said, stubbornly.  
  
"Ye - " Egwene was cut off.  
  
"No."  
  
"Y - "  
  
"NO!!!"  
  
"Yes yo-"  
  
"NO I did not!"  
  
"Yes you did!"  
  
Nynaeve paused. "Oh, now that I think about it I do remember. Why, yes. May I have it back now please.  
  
~*~*~  
  
Lol, yeah I know totally dumb but no flames please!!! Good reviews!!! :) Blinki 


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